No one said parenting would be easy, but no one said it would be this hard either. You never thought that you would be sitting your kids down to tell them that you and their other parent are getting a divorce. It is a tough conversation to have, but it is important to remember that you do not have to share all the details with your children. They just need to know enough to understand what is going on. Here are some tips on how to have this difficult but necessary conversation.

Tips for Controlling the Conversation

The conversation with your kids about your divorce is going to be tough—there is no question about it. It is important to understand, however, that children are often aware that there are big problems even if you have not talked about your concerns in front of them.

If you and your spouse have decided to end your marriage, the best thing you can do is schedule a time that you both can sit down with your children and talk to them directly. When you do so, keep the following in mind:

In 1966, the U.S. Supreme Court issued a ruling in the case of Miranda v. Arizona that set forth certain constitutional rights that must be read to criminal suspects who are in police custody and are going to be interrogated. These rights, commonly referred to as "Miranda rights," come from the Fifth and Sixth Amendments to the U.S. Constitution. In Wisconsin, these rights are codified in state statute (Wis. Stat. 971.30).

What Are the Miranda Rights?

Broadly speaking, Miranda rights ensure that defendants in criminal cases are aware of their Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination and their Sixth Amendment right to counsel during police interrogations. The specific language of the Miranda warning that must be read to a suspect depends on the jurisdiction, but typically includes something to the following effect:

1. You have the right to remain silent.

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It practically goes without saying that many divorced or separated parents are not especially fond of each other. Parents who do not see eye-to-eye can struggle to co-parent effectively. Some disagree about their child’s education or church involvement. Others differ with regard to household rules or discipline.  

Some parents hold onto anger from their marriage and let this anger influence the way they parent their children. They may talk badly about the other parent or even discourage the child from having a close relationship with the other parent.

In some cases, the situation escalates into parental alienation. Parental alienation occurs when a parent intentionally sabotages the relationship between the child and the other parent. Many experts consider parental alienation to be a form of emotional abuse.

The time following a divorce, separation, or other establishment of a court-ordered child custody order can be a time of high conflict between co-parents. Unfortunately, this results in many false accusations of child abuse that judges and courts must spend valuable time and resources investigating. 

For those parents who are dealing with real concerns of child abuse, the prevalence of false accusations may make them understandably worried about whether the court will take their concerns seriously. After all, proving child abuse is not always easy, and although your parental intuition may be absolutely sure that something is “off,” it can be difficult to collect evidence to prove it. If you are worried that your ex is abusing your child and you want to take action in the form of a modified custody arrangement, contact an experienced Wisconsin child custody attorney today for help. 

How Does Child Abuse Impact Child Custody Disputes in Wisconsin? 

Wisconsin family law judges are primarily concerned with implementing a custody order that is in the best interests of the child. When a court finds that a parent has committed a pattern or serious incident of child or spousal abuse, Wisconsin law requires the well-being of the child to be the first consideration when making custody decisions. This usually means removing joint or sole legal custody from the abusive parent or only allowing supervised visitation. In cases involving concerns of ongoing physical abuse, the child may be immediately removed from physical placement with the abusive parent. 

Every parent hopes for the best for their child. Even when a child struggles with a bad friend group, poor academic performance, impulse control, or other difficulties that contribute towards criminal behavior, it can still be a shock to learn that child is being accused of committing a serious crime. 

Wisconsin has a separate juvenile justice system to handle cases of juvenile delinquency, but some crimes can be serious enough to merit treatment in the adult criminal justice system. If your child is facing criminal charges, contact an experienced Wisconsin criminal defense attorney, especially if you are concerned that your child may be tried as an adult. 

Which Crimes Can Cause Juveniles to Be Tried as Adults? 

Once a child is 17 years old, he or she is considered an adult for the purposes of criminal prosecution. But some of the most serious crimes can allow much younger children to be prosecuted as adults as well, and in some cases, the law even requires it.